Be AFRAID!!

Have you noticed how many messages you hear in a day that are designed to encourage you to be fearful or anxious?

I drive the kids to school and I hear that the radio station I am listening to is "safe for the whole family". On said radio station, I hear a commercial instructing parents to check out an online elementary school that is "safe from bullying".

Then, over lunch, I am watching the news (which by the way, you shouldn't do if you are prone to anxiety or fear, in general) and I see a commercial with a young mom holding her baby and coughing on the baby. (I am tempted to think this is a Saturday Night Live skit commercial, yet it is noon.) The announcer declares, "studies have proven that parents and other family members are the people most likely to give children whooping cough, a sometimes deadly virus." Parents are strongly encouraged to run, not walk to the local doctor's office to get the "adult vaccine" to "protect" junior from the virus that might be passed down.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that are genuinely in need of our concern and attention. In my small community, there have been a lot of robberies and even an attempted child abduction in the last few months. I know there are scary people out there. However, when the majority of messages that I hear and see from the media tell me to be "afraid", it makes me wonder, are we afraid of the right things?

Turn on any political news station (CNN, MSNBC, FOX) and during the day or in the evening (if you dare)and there are generally people in little boxes on the screen disagreeing with each other or drumming up conflict. There is very little on these programs that ever gets accomplished or resolved, except for perhaps a little cardiovascular exercise as people watching and participating have their blood pressures rise.

I am someone who used to embrace fear or worry or anxiety. If I wasn't anxious about something, I would start to worry. Then, a lot of the "bad things" that I worried about happening in life, actually happened. To my surprise and amazement, I actually survived them. So, I learned that worrying doesn't stop bad things from happening, and that worrying was my attempt to control things well out of my reach.

What does worrying do to us as a people? I think it makes us distrustful and disconnected from one another. When we are only shown images of tragedy and disaster, we start to believe that only bad things happen in the world. The messages become "the world is a scary place" and "people are not trustworthy". The fear begins to separates us. It drives a wedge between neighbors and communities. If you live in the suburbs, do you fear going to the city? If you live in a neighborhood, do you know your neighbors?

Mary Pipher, PhD. refers to America as a "hotel society". We live next to one another, but we don't really know one another anymore. In her book, Another Country, she writes, "In our "hotel society", a different set of norms is practical. We learn to swim with the sharks, every person for him- or herself...It's better not to get too attached to people one may soon leave, Conformity doesn't matter much in a culture of strangers. The pinnacle of good manners is leaving people alone" (p.69).

My real concern here is:
What if we are afraid of the wrong things?
What if our worries are actually a distraction from the really important things in life?
What if our worries and fears isolate us and keep us from really connecting with one another?

I mean, rather than worrying about whether LeBron James goes to South Beach, why don't we worry about the kids who need a role model that they can actually interact with that will be present when they need them? Why don't we start to think about how to end poverty and hunger and homelessness?

For those of us who believe that faith in Christ is deeper than a ceremony and ritual that we "go through" each Sunday,why aren't we worried about the fact that oftentimes, some of the most unfriendly, unwelcoming encounters people have each week occur while inside a building that professes to represent the love of Christ? What if that "hotel society" carries over into our faith? What if we don't want to really be bothered with "other people's problems" because we simply don't have time?

See these are the things I question. I am afraid that soon what we aren't doing (because we are afraid) will be the strongest representation of what we believe. Anyone can say they are a Christian, but really, people don't need one more thing to do in a week. They need a family. They need a connection. They need to be able to trust that they will be loved and accepted for who they are, not what they do or don't do.

The other piece of being afraid, is that fear keeps us from moving out of the places we are comfortable. It's funny because God directly orders many folks in the Bible to "Fear not" or to "not be afraid", but most of those folks were actively following a call on their life that was actually life threatening. I mean those hungry lions Daniel faced were not playing. Joshua was actually standing in front of a giant wall and was going to try to knock a big wall down with trumpets and shouting. Or, let's think about Gideon, about to fight a war with a few hundred men against about a million man army. Then, there was Abraham, who was told to slaughter his only son. Let's not forget Mary, the teen mom of Jesus, who was not married at the time she conceived. I think in the midst of living out what they believed, they were afraid. I just wonder if we are afraid, and we haven't really even stepped out into a scary situation yet?

"God does not give us a spirit of fear". Fear is clearly not from God.
What if in all of our fear and anxiety, we are missing the chance to do something thrilling?

What if there is a blessing in reaching out of our comfort zone and reaching out and helping someone, just like us, or even totally different than us?

Is there anything more thrilling than living out what we say we believe, rather than just talking about what we believe?

Truthfully, I am more afraid of not being in relationship with people, than I am of the risk that I might make a fool of myself and be rejected. I mean it wouldn't be the first time someone thought I was a little off. So the next time you get the message to "be afraid" from some one or some media outlet, stop and ask yourself, do I really need to be afraid, or is that fear just a distraction from an opportunity to reach out to a world desperately in need of connection and relationship?

The Examined Houselife

Well, I must be ready for some new adventures in life if I am starting a BLOG.  I mean people who BLOG have things to share, right?  This will be the story of my upcoming year.  God has cleared from my "schedule" so many of the things that I have held dear for many years.  I even joked with my husband that I wouldn't be surprised if I get fired from my job of 10 years this year because, God knows I won't go willingly.  I am stubborn.  I prefer persistent.  However, the truth is, if I get an idea and I think it is what God would want me to do, then I probably wouldn't leave unless something dramatic happened.  So, I am excited and anxious all at once to see what God will lead me to this year. 

Since I am a college professor, everything in my life revolves around the school year and semesters.  I define my life in 16 week increments.  Time passes very quickly this way, and sometimes years go by and I can't believe it is the start of another school year.

This BLOG is going to be about my journey to examine life in the suburbs.  I work online.  I work out of my house.  I am social but I am also introverted, so The Examined Houselife seemed to combine exactly what I want to do this year. 

I want to write, I have been afraid to do so until now.  I don't know what has changed, but something has changed.  The fear has lifted and now I just feel the freedom to explore.  Possibilities are endless when you just let go of the fear of failing.  There is nothing to lose.  There is only knowledge and wisdom to be gained.

Authenticity and honesty are two characteristics I value above many other character traits.  I am looking forward to the journey now, and not so worried about the end product.  I don't know why there has been a shift.  I think it has to do with letting go of perfection.  Anyone out there know about trying to live up to some ideal or expectation?   

I am passionate about many things.  I am most passionate about my love for Jesus Christ.  I was introduced to God when I was 3.  I heard the Gospel message of Salvation and Redemption when I was 6 and I remember when Mrs. Trudy Rose invited the children in the chapel in front of her to receive the gift of Jesus, the indwelling Christ, to come "into our hearts".  I knew that day, I wanted more than anything a love relationship with this guy, this God of the Universe.  I was sold.  That was 33 years ago, and although we have had some times where communication was limited, we have never broken up.  He has always pursued me with the love that He showed me on that first day.  I wish I could say the same about my own pursuit of the things of Heaven.

My attempt to examine and dissect this next stage of life will be what this BLOG discusses.  I am going to try to focus a bit more on the things that matter.  I think life moves faster than the speed of light sometimes, and I value taking time to think through the deeper issues that arise as we live.  I don't want to be a passenger in life, I want to be fully engaged.  I want to squeeze every drop out of every day and go to sleep exhausted from having enjoyed it all.  If you are like me, then welcome to the ride.  If you aren't like me, well, we should talk, you may be someone I need to get to know.  Anyway, all are welcome, but be warned--it might not be pretty.